This is me trying to capture "love" in a picture. I thought of making my whole body into a picture... turned out looking like a confused ballerina. Then I tried hugging myself. Let's just not go there. Third I tried making one of those stupid hand hearts that are all the rage. Apparently I have no talent in showing love in a picture. But you get my drift, don't you?
This post is going to double (or should I say triple?!?) as comment of the week/ pause for introspection/ lecture. Hubs says I'm good at giving lectures. Maybe I am. How else do you think I manage get hundreds of rowdy teenagers to listen to me?
Thursday night I posted this post about what you would do in certain teaching situations I had faced lately. I told of one student who had not completed the required work, although he came close. He comes from a tough home life, but even with 5% extra credit, he didn't reach the passing point. So he failed the class. Another student copied and pasted from wikipedia. I allowed him to redo the paper for half the points. He passed the class. Friday afternoon this comment from Lilian came a rolling in:
I am very disappointed in you, Bonnie. I can't believe you failed #2. Especially when you knew full well about his family situation. He's trying to help put food on the table. What the heck is wrong with you? I was disappointed at first, but after reading further I lost a lot of respect for you. You passed #4???? Seriously? HE PLAGARISED! But you couldn't pass the kid that goes to school AND works 40 hours a week!!!! Is he a suck up or something? Sounds like you play favorites. So wrong. I hate your attitude towards your students. So negative. They're teenagers not complete idiots. You were one once too. Show a little compassion. Isn't that what your religion teaches?
Pretty brutal, huh? I mean, attacking my teaching practices, my character, AND my religion all in one- that ain't easy to do! Hats off, Lilian!
Before I say anything more about my reaction to this comment, I would ask you what would you do? What would you do if you received a comment like this? What is your natural reaction to criticism?
Some possible answers:
1. Get defensive and try to justify your actions.
2. Erase the comment so no one else can see it and think you suck.
3. Write something hateful back- attacking Lilian's job, character, and religion.
4. Close your computer and not think about it again.
5. Try to not think about it, but have it pester you and affect your mood for at least the next 24 hours.
6. Remember that you get dozens of very nice comments from very nice people every day and focus on the positive, not the negative.
7. Take a poll with your student in class the next day asking your students, "Do you think I am negative towards you?"
8. Think to yourself that Lilian has no idea what it's like to be you, and that she wouldn't be so quick to throw stones if she understood how complicated the lines can get sometimes, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
9. Use the negative comment as a way to get more people to read your blog.
10. Give up blogging.
11. Forgive Lilian and pray for peace.
12. Chew Lilian out publicly.
I did a combination of 1, 5, and 9. The devil in me wanted to do 2,3, 8, and 10. The saint in me tried to do 4,6, and 11, but with no avail.
My very first reaction was defensiveness. Isn't that always our first reaction? My thoughts were running fast and furious. Wow. I hate that she says I "failed" Adam. (Names have been changed) As if I made the choice to fail him. He failed himself. I understand his home life is difficult but does that mean he really "passed" the class? He did not learn the material enough to merit a passing grade- he did none of the research required for the research paper and he understood none of the Shakespeare. For the rest of his life is he going to expect people to do him favors and make exceptions for him because he had a hard home life? And Travis! He passed with a D-, It wasn't like I was doing him huge favors. She hates my attitude towards my students?!? I mean, I make fun of the hoodlums all the time, but heavens knows I love them and I bust my butt for them every day. And my RELIGION?!? Are you joking me? You're going to sit and attack my religion every time I make a mistake? Yes, my religion teaches compassion, but it also teaches justice and sometimes those lines are so blurry I can't figure it out for the life of me. So I pray and pray I am doing what's right for these kids and then I just try my hardest to make the best decisions for them and pray that God will make up for the rest.
That was me going on the defensive. Reaction Numero Uno.
My second reaction was #9- Use the comment to attract more traffic to my blog. I posted it immediately on my twitter and facebook, beckoning all to come see the hate comments. I watched as traffic spiked in the next couple of hours, and I felt an odd sort of vindication.
My third reaction was #5. I tried to put it out of my mind, but still, it festered. Festered there in the back of my head all day. "You hate your students. You don't live your religion. You play favorites. You suck." Was I really conveying a negative attitude about my students? Did I really treat them like they were stupid? Should I have given Adam the extra 3% he needed to pass? Should I have not allowed Travis to redo the paper? I couldn't shake it and I was grumpy and irritable the rest of the night.
My fourth, and final reaction is #12. To chew Lilian out online. Lilian, and anyone else who uses the safety of the internet to write mean, hateful comments to people they don't know. Lilian, I can honestly say that I try my very hardest to be a good teacher. It is exhausting work and I have the needs of 270 students to think about. I may misjudge. But I love those students and I slave away day in and day out and I wake up at 5:55 five days out of the week and drive 45 minutes to school in the pitch black and 45 minutes back in rush hour traffic so I can teach them, and believe me I could get many higher paying jobs. But I love my students and I love teaching. I read every single one of their little papers and I put all of their grades in on time and don't you dare sit there and tell me that something is "wrong with me" because I made what you see as a wrong call. You have no right to attack my teaching, you certainly have no right to attack my religion, and you are hereby formally disinvited from ever reading or commenting on my blog again. Amen and amen.
And now, readers, tell me.
How would YOU react?
P.S. You should follow me on twitter. And facebook. It's always a freaking party.
