Today we have something very important and very exciting to talk about and that is handicapped parking.
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| While we're on the subject, what is with the striped yellow lines? They take up more space than the actual parking spot! Which is worse, to park handicapped or park in the yellow lines? And more importantly, which one has the lesser fee!? |
Wanna know the damage?
100 bones.
ONE HUNDRED BONES!
I tried to fight it in court, got no sympathy whatsoever, (apparently the judge doesn't like rocky road ice cream, come on!) and had to pay the hundred bucks. I vowed I had learned my lesson and I would never park in a handicapped parking spot again.
That was two years ago.
Lately I've started parking handicapped at my local grocery store. I discoverd that it's really only Wal-mart who patrols their parking lot so intensely (they hire a cop 24-7 to take care of their paking lot which tells me two things:1. Wal-mart has too much money and 2. cops have got too much time on their hands.)
My new handicap parking spot is totally totally safe because it doesn't have a sign that says it's handicapped; it's just painted on the ground. My friend told me unless there's an acutal sign they can't ticket you. Now, who knows if that's true, but I, personally, choose to believe it! Optimism, people!
Today I was running in to the store real quick to grab a couple of ingredients for dinner. Well, that parking lot was like a hot zoo. People were behaving like wild animals, jamming their cars, screaming at each other, pouding their chests in fury. You know the scene, don't you? I noticed my special handicapped stall was available so I made a mad dash for it to avoid getting killed in the wild.
I came out of the grocery store ten minutes later to discover no parking ticket. No harm, no foul, right?
Wrong. Upon pulling out, I noticed a very old man right next to my car staring in at me. He was putting his cart back and I tell you what, this old geiser could really give the stare down. At first I thought he was a nice man wanting to help me out, like the guy who helped me figure out how to go through a car wash. But oh, no. His stare was not a friendly stare. It was an I-think-you-are-despicable-and-the-scum-of-all-the-earth stare. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what had got this old mans panties in such a twist, and then I realized that he was alternating stares at me and at the painted handicapped sign visible on the pavement. He was nonverbally chewing me out for parking in the handicapped stall. Literally feet away from me, staring at me so ferociously... as if STARING INTO MY SOUL. I could feel myself slowly melting into my seat, wanting desperately to run away and hide, to not be that terrible girl who is so selfish and socially unaware that she would actually park in handicapped parking. I drove home feeling like scum. Filth. The whore of all the earth.
I've felt guilty ever since. Is what I did really that wrong? Hubs, who has the moral integrity of a nun, told me he thinks what I did is "morally wrong". Naturally, I'm gonna need a few more opinions. So.... on a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it is to park in handicapped parking?
THE OFFICIAL SCALE OF AWFULNESS
1- I didn't brush my teeth before bed
2- I cheat at Monopoly
3- I said something rude behind someone's back
4- I don't tip my waitors at Sizzler
5- I trip people on purpose
6- I am a chronic liar
7- I drive drunk
8- I steal money, even from friends and family
9- I am physically abusive and I cheat on my wife
10- I murder babies (Morbid, I know. I had to think of something really bad!)
Your comments are important, people. They WILL determine my future with handicapped parking. Thank you for your time. And your consideration. I'm just gonna end this now. It's getting weird.
