Oh... Hey there, Pinterest. It's me... Bonnie. You probably don't know me very well, because, well, I have never come visit you. Not even once. Okay fine, I lied. I visited you once. Fine! Twice. But one time was just to kife a bunch of pictures from you, and I don't think that really counts, do you?
Here's the deal, Pinterest. I think you've been interested in me for a while now. I see you trying to lure me over to you every chance you get. You're all over the place. Blogs, facebook, twitter, I can't turn around without seeing you tantalizing me, beckoning me with that perfectly painted fingernail of yours. You want me to join you. And I do admit, at times I have been tempted, sorely tempted, to hop on board and give in to your pure seduction. But I'm going to hold strong here. I ain't caving.
Because listen. A lot of girls can really really enjoy spending time with you. They feel invigorated, inspired, motivated by you. I'm not that way. You would suck the life out of me. You would make me feel uncute, uncrafty, and un-good-cook-y (Made that term up myself!). You bring out all my insecurities. I really like the person that I am, and I like that I like me. (Think about it, Pinterest, that's deep!) I am remotely aware that a lot of girls do a lot of other things better than I do, but I just don't need to be reminded of that every day. The recipes wouldn't inspire me, they'd depress me. The crafts wouldn't excite me, they'd overwhelm me. And the outfits. Oh, the outfits. Bonnie can't have what Bonnie can't buy, so what's the point in pining away over beautiful boots and dainty dresses?
Simply put, you're just not my type, and I'm convinced I'd be absolutely miserable with you. I hope you understand. There's so many other girls who will be happier with you, so please, by all means, go and pursue them. Don't mourn for me. And definitely don't wait for me. Because I'll never come. I'd rather be spending my time with books. Or ice cream shops. Or reality TV. Or cuddle sessions. Just not with you.
With utmost respect,
Bonnie
